[This just in: The above image has been produced as a LIMITED EDITION POSTCARD-SIZED MAGNET for the 2015 Luxuria Music Pledge Drive. Grab one, starting Saturday (2/28) @ 9pm PST via luxuriamusic.com]

Of late, Lee-Roy and I have fielded many enquiries regarding Uncle Morty’s Midnite Mobile Dispensary. Sure, we always say, “Don’t look for Uncle Morty – He’ll find you!” We say that because Uncle Morty pays us to say it. He is our sponsor, after all. But Morty’s also a cautious sort, with good reason. The Eagle Rock city fathers thought they’d broomed all the weed stores past the city limits after that embarrassing N.Y. Times piece last year. And there have been issues in the recent past with Morty parking too close to a day care center. The peeling Mexican popsicle stickers weren’t really fooling anyone and, besides, those kids have enough to worry about as it is. Still, as with the Purple Bat Lounge, it’s important to know what it is you’re looking for, especially as Google Maps refuses to acknowledge either of them.

And so, by special arrangement with Uncle Morty himself (and the Jamaican cartel who fronted the money for his latest set of wheels), NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT is proud to present this authorized portrait of the Midnite Mobile Dispensary. Yes, Group, the next time you hear the discordant strains of Beethoven’s ‘Für Elise’ wafting through the night air in a worrying fashion, you’ll know to look for the former ice cream truck with the, erm, distressed finish, confident that Uncle Morty is amongst us once more.

Be sure to tune in to Luxuria Music this Saturday @ 9pm PST for the first of our two pledge drive shows. Shake that wallet hand loose, buy a refrigerator magnet or two and help the Big L continue broadcasting the programs that no one else will. Like ours. Our station’s den mother Kat Griffin, she of the Wednesday happy hour show Madly Cocktail, will be joining Count Reeshard live – and co-host Lee-Roy by remote – for two full hours of music and shameless begging. I expect Morty will turn up as well. I’m banking on that, actually.

Oh, and there will be a new, extra bitchen NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT refrigerator magnet, produced just for the 2015 Luxuria Pledge Drive. As with our first magnet (you know, with the guy in the filthy polyester chicken suit) this new model is also equipped with a hex-breaking aura. Now, stare into the pit bull’s eyes, and recite your cash machine PIN number…


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